OK you are not going to believe this--I have two cyst both the size of large walnuts between my knee cap...yep you guessed it my left knee. I don't a know a word that accurately describes the pain, I swear I don't. It hurts to sit, stand, walk and even when I lay down. However I am determined not to let it stop me. I press on through the pain, because I have to. This past week I had a situation that bought tears to my eyes (literally). I had a task to do in my home that I was physically unable to do, something that I have done repeatedly for the past 10 years, now I am unable to do it. I had to (verbally) admit to strangers that I am handicapped, disabled and could not do the task needed. I want to say this was a humbling experience but it was more than that. It crushed me, it made me feel "less than". I couldn't call for anyone to help me because that would make me feel even worst. No, no, no it was not "pride". It's so much more than that, it was facing the reality that my life has changed and I must learn how to do things differently. Then there is the anger, I cannot tell you how angry I was! I know for sure that I will have limitations, but I will not be stopped! There are days I will have to stay in bed, but it's not permanent. I think my boogie woogie days are gone, but me and my pew/chair can jam from the waist up (smile). I can still sing and I will. I can still smile and I do that all the time but then I take that first step and you might see a quick look of pain in my eye or on my face...but that too shall pass. I have so much joy!!! You know why, because man didn't give it and man can't take it away!
~peace~
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